Friday, April 12, 2002

Blistering Blue Barnacles

Naval slang varies from fleet to fleet and even ship to ship. The below email gives a pretty good (if hyperbolic in use) example of some of the more common stuff.
WARNING: Not for those with tender sensibilities.

Me and Willy were lollygagging by the scuttlebutt after being aloft to boy butter the antennas, we were just perched on a bollard eyeballing a couple of bilge rats and flangeheads using crescent hammers to pack monkey shit around a fitting on a handybilly. All of a sudden the dicksmith started hard-assing one of the deck apes for lifting his pogey bait. The pecker-checker was a sewer pipe sailor and the deckape was a gator. Maybe being blackshoes on a bird farm surrounded by a gaggle of cans didn't set right with either of those gobs. The deck ape ran through the nearest hatch and dogged it tight because he knew the penis machinist was going to lay below, catch him between decks and punch him in the snot locker. He'd probably wind up on the binnacle list but Doc would find a way to gundeck the paper or give it the deep six to keep himself above board.

We heard the skivvywaver announce over the bitch box that the breadburners had creamed foreskins on toast and SOS ready on the mess decks so we cut and run to avoid the clusterfuck when the twidgets and cannon cockers knew chow was on. We were balls to the wall for the barn and everyone was preparing to hit the beach as soon as we doubled-up and threw the brow over. I had a ditty bag full of fufu juice that I was gonna spread on thick for the bar hogs with those sweet bosnias. Sure beats the hell out of brown bagging. Might even hit the acey-duecy club and try to hook up with a westpac widow. They were always leaving snail trails on the dance floor on amateur night.


Now, For you Land Lubbers
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
lollygagging-----goofing off
scuttlebutt--------drinking fountain
aloft---------------in the superstructure
boy butter---------light tan grease
bollard-------Squat cylindrical fixtures attached to a pier or deck to secure mooring lines.
bilge rats----------Engineering ratings
flangeheads-------Enginemen
crescent hammers-Cresent wrenches
handybilly--------P500 submersible pump
dicksmith---------Hospital Corpsman
hard-assing-------Giving someone a hard time verbally
deck ape-----------Personnel assigned to the deck gang, usually Boatswain Mates
pogey bait---------any sweet stuff candy,etc....(bought in the ge-dunk)
ge-dunk------------Place to buy pogey bait
sewer pipe---------submarine
gator----------------Ships of the amphibious force
blackshoes---------Non-aviation ratings
bird farm-----------Aircraft Carrier
cans-----------------Destroyers
gobs-----------------sailors
hatch----------------doors, entrances through a bulkhead (wall)
dogged it----------- activate a handle that puts the locks into place
penis machinist-----Hospital Corpsman
lay below------------to go to a lower level of the ship...below the weather decks
snot locker----------nose
binnacle list---------Medical department list of personnel in a no or light duty status
Gundeck-------------to falsify a record
deep six--------------to throw overboard
skivvywavers-------Signalmen
breadburners---------cooks
clusterfuck-----------self-explanatory
twidgets--------------men who work in electronics fields
cannon cockers------Gunnersmates
balls to the wall------full speed ahead
barn--------------------home port
hit the beach----------go on liberty
doubled up------------moored securely to the pier
brow--------------------walkway from ship/shore/ship
ditty bag---------------small canvas bag issued to sailors to keep incidentals in
fufu juice--------------cologne
bar hogs---------------young/old ladies who frequent sailor bars
bosnias-----------------Big old standard navy issue asses
brown bagging--------refers to married sailors who live off the ship while in port and bring lunch in a brown bag.
acey-duecy club-------Club for E5s and E6s (1st class PO/2nd class PO)
westpac widow--------women whose husbands are at sea
amateur night----------payday night

There is more of this type of fun here if you are still curious.

Wednesday, April 10, 2002

The sky is falling

Good grist for Jay Manifold or Rand Simberg or kindred bloggers can be found here.The question is what are we going to do about it and when. Maybe broadband connected PCs could be used ala SETI to help with detection (I am pretty sure I heard that idea somewhere else, maybe from Jay at arcturas.)

Monday, April 08, 2002

What about zero tolerance for violence?

A 14 year old San Diego girl of Syrian and Jordanian roots talks about blowing herself up for the cause. Other than the fact that her parents are horribly remiss to indoctrinate her so or, at least allow her to spout such nonsense, I'd like to point out something else. Where are the police or social workers? If this were some disaffected white teenage boy talking about killing himself and others, the cops and child services would be on him ASAP. Hell, you can't even play dodgeball at most Cali schools these days. Yet this girl is probably allowed to attend (on our dime) some English as a second language curriculum where everyone works each other into a lather over something happening on the other side of the Earth. Talk about maladjusted. What normal 14 year old girl cares that much about anything other than Britney or 'nSync tix? Middlebrow though bubblegum pop fans may be, their fashion tastes rarely run toward Semtex pullovers.
Big Blogroll

Everybody probably knows that the Prof listed all those blogs he inspired. Jeff Wolfe was good enough to hyperlink them for all of us here. Permalink to follow.
"It is good that war is so terrible...

...or we should grow too fond of it." Robert E. Lee was purported to have said that. It also was also at the core of one of the more memorable Star Trek episodes. Kirk comes across two nearby planets at war who have sanitized the rules of war to the level of having eschewed weaponry in favor of computer "battles". "Victims" reported to disintegration booths if they were deemed "killed" by the simulation program. In the story the two planets had been fighting this way for hundreds of years. Millions had voluntarily forfieted their lives in the disintegration booths, victims of bloodless battles. I won't give away the ending (as if your don't know or can't guess) but the story always resonated with me as one of the better episodes if only because of the way it was able to use that fictional universe to make a point.
I always get a little irked when some poindexter goes on and on about how someone is violating the rules of war by targeting innocent civilians. Strict differentiation between combatants and civilians on a belligerent side is comparatively new and really only practiced these days by western democracies like the US, England and Israel, often to their own detriment. Both sides bombed the hell out of civilians in WWII on the premise that it was they who were funding and providing logistical support for the war effort of their respective nations. The Mutually Assured Destruction strategy that supposedly prevented an apocalyptic confrontation between the US and the Soviets was predicated on the destruction of each other's populations.
On the other hand, where much care is made to distinguish between the civilians and military of a hostile nation or organization, dreaded quagmire ensues. Think Viet Nam, Northern Ireland and, of course, Isreal. It is the decency inherent in Western democracies that allows guerilla and terrorist groups to drag conflicts out over decades and sap the will of their enemies. We have seen this with Northern Ireland and the ongoing problems in the Mideast. But make no mistake, groups like the IRA and PLO are supported by and fight for groups of "civilians." Why should the people who support those who attack us be immune to the consequences of their actions? Because they have no state? Because they are the underdog? Often the underdog is in the wrong. Usually the underdog loses (hence the name). The US and Israeli inclination for fair play is the only thing that has allowed us to suffer the likes of the morally and culturally bankrupt groups that have been attacking us for so long. A farmer does not hesitate to kill a rattlesnake though in fact he is much bigger and stronger than the serpent. Weakness of an enemy is no excuse to use kid gloves. It only emboldens him further. We should give Palestinians one last chance, just to show the world how fair we are. An ultimatum should be delivered, much like Bush's speech re 911. Those who support and abide the attacks against Israel are in fact at war, unrestricted war, with Israel and subject to the consequences. Those who are not are enjoined to stay out of the way until the end of hostilities. As far as I am concerned, parents who dress their kids up in junior Islamokazi bomb vests and parade them down the street along with those who honor the "martyrs" are just as much combatants as the actual gunmen and suicide bombers. I would support Israel if they shot or captured all such "demonstrators". The same goes for the US and those who danced in glee as the WTC burned and collapsed. They all need to learn just how terrible war really is.